It’s Thursday again, and time for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. The prompt I chose today is, quite possibly, a controversial one:
3.) Opinion post: Write about how you feel about cussing in blog land? Acceptable? Unacceptable? Do you keep reading?
To understand my feelings on this subject, you’ll probably need a little background.
My sisters were teenagers when I was born. Therefore, I became an aunt at 2 1/2 when my first nephew was born. Another nephew came along when I was 3 1/2, a niece when I was 5, another nephew when I was 7, a niece when I was 9, and my youngest niece was born when I was 12.
Since they all lived nearby, they visited often, and were just about the equivalent of my siblings. My mom and their moms agreed on many of the rules in our upbringing. One of those rules involved what words we were and weren’t allowed to say.
Here are the forbidden words and their acceptable alternatives:
Not Allowed Allowed
You lied You told a story
You cheated You’re not playing fair
You’re stupid You’re being silly
You’re crazy You’re being silly
I hate….. I don’t like….
(*and one more that my sister reminded me of after posting this: we were never allowed to say “shut up”. Instead, it was “be quiet” or “hush”. And, to set the example, we were never told by our parents to shut up.)
Admittedly, since I’ve been an adult, those words aren’t off limits. But having had it instilled in me from an early age that certain words are better left unspoken has had a lifetime effect on the language I use.
Now, for how that applies to MY blog world. You won’t ever find a swear word or profanity on my blog. And if I catch it in time, you won’t find one in the comments that are left here. Thankfully, that hasn’t been a problem so far.
When I read a blog with a “bad” word, here’s how I deal with it. If it’s one of the blogs I visit on a regular basis, and the use of words like that is a rarity, it won’t stop me from reading that post or continuing to follow that blog. (Although I will probably cringe a little.)
If I happen to visit a blog with profanity, I stop reading it. Period. I don’t save that site to favorites, I don’t become a follower, and I don’t subscribe.
As for Facebook, if you’re one of my “friends”, and most everything you post is laden with profanity – poof! You’re hidden.
Not that I’m a good two-shoes (far from it), but there’s no place in my life for profanity. I believe that saying (and writing) those type words shows a lack of self-respect and respect for others. One of my friends once said to an acquaintance: “You’re too beautiful a woman to have a potty-mouth”. That sums it up for me.
It’s my computer screen, and I have the ability and right to choose what I read and what I don’t. Just like blog authors (and folks with Facebook pages) have the right to use whatever language they choose.
That doesn’t mean I have to read it.
And that, folks, is just my humble opinion.
these days of mine 
I feel the same way about unwanted phone calls. It’s my phone and I can hang up whenever I want to.
Only one more that you didn’t list….we were never allowed to tell someone to ‘shut up’! That was a definite no-no.
Amen!! Mom always told us it takes far more imagination and intelligence to creatively communicate than it does to swear. In her words, “Swearing takes no talent at all … anyone can do it.” Very rarely do I take part and yes I do cringe at FB posts and blogs containing constant swear words. And I don’t go back, either.
great post! MJ
I think you addressed this question well! I have a 15 year old daughter, and when I see some of the filth that her peers post on Facebook I am disgusted. Won’t look good to a scholarship screener when they try to get into their school of choice! And I agree – it’s important that kids just dono’t get into the habit of using profanity. Not that I don’t personally slip (more than I want to) but I know even at 15 and 12 my two are taking a cue from me.
That would about sum it up for me – from the way I grew up thinking about (and being taught about) language, to the way I use it today. I can hear it/see in a post here and there…but if it becomes the norm, infused into everything, I choose not to revisit much either!
Profanity is not articulate…plain and simple. Unfortunately, I do run across words I would never use. I will read a post with a “word or two”, but chances are I won’t be commenting that day…but I will return and maybe I’ll comment another day. My friend in Cincinnati noticed someone had referred to me (on my blog) as the “gracious and witty G….” I like to think that wit involves other ways of saying things. And I love it when one with a penchant for those words “softens” their tone with me. Rick doesn’t use those words either and won’t tolerate it from any of his 3 girls.
I don’t use curse words on my blog. However, I did once have someone leave a comment that had the f bomb in it. I moderate comments, and had to deliberate – do I publish or not? In the end, I sided with freedom of speech, and I did publish the comment. But my parents still talk about the time someone left that comment on my family blog! Thankfully, it has never happened since, and I hope it doesn’t happen again, as it’s a tough decision to make.
My father-in-law always said that using fouls language was just being lazy. I still think of that when I hear people who can’t seem to complete a sentence without using such language.
Nice….blog. Although I do use profanity from time to time I think it shows a lack of originality, vocabulary & intelligence. Love the “positive replacement words……these are so important in all children’s self image. Kudos to your Mom & you.
Of course I agree 110%. When I blogged about it, I was happy to see so many in agreement. When I was writing a post not long ago where I was quoting my husband saying the d-word (it just kind of went with my story), I chose to use symbols instead of the real word knowing it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.
It’s all about respect…
Very well said!! For the most part I haven’t run across blogs with bad words, and when I did, “poof” as you say!
I was just thinking the other day about the word “lie”; it was always referred to as “don’t story to me!” Interesting how words have changed.
not having been a parent, i’m probably more liberal with my vocabulary than others might be. however, i try to keep my cuss words published to softer varieties like ‘frickin’ or ‘flippin’. there is one blog i read/follow that uses full-on cuss words and i always cringe a bit. sometimes they flow and sometimes they almost seem inserted for shock value only. but just when i think about dropping, she surprises me with several posts in a row that are just plain funny and f-bomb free…
my husband and i owned and ran a construction company for many years. every employee carried a “two-way-radio” (they were all the rage back then). i heard every word the drivers said, the good, the bad, and the down right ugly. i am well educated in profanity so i guess you could say i am well seasoned. i’m kinda flexable…..and when i do cuss, it’s usually kinda funny. once i cursed in front of my 16 year old niece, we howled for hours. she tells the story every christmas and we roll on the floor laughing. it was funny and involved a bad cuss…..i guess you had to be there but that story will be told forever!!!! i’m kinda happy it happened!!!
Well, don’t visit my blog today. Wait til tomorrow! I hardly ever throw a stank ball out there, but today….well my sarcasm and purpose to prove a point got the better of me! If you dare to service your curiosity check it out. Otherwise, we will resume our normal programming tomorrow! LOL
I might be the only person writing a response to this that does cuss…and on a regular basis. It usually only comes out when I’m mad. Cuss words don’t bother me…it’s the way words are used that do. All words can be harmful…even if followed by “bless your heart”.
I”m with Susie here. I cuss. I don’t believe it shows a lack of intelligence or education I believe this post esquisitely shows the ever widening generational gap that is occurring. I think that curse words are just a part of the ever-changing English language. I think that the f word of today will evolve and probably go the way of trollop and skanky in the future. Every generation makes it own decisions about the appropriateness of its words. None is right or wrong, just ever-changing.
I get rather annoyed by the high and mighty belief people who curse are rude, classless, unintelligent, or simply ignorant. I swear and there is profanity on my blog. Guess what? I am far from uneducated or classless. I am polite when I am out in public, have good manners, and can speak articulately without ever uttering a single curse word.
So why do I swear? Because for me, it’s a release. And as a writer, I sometimes feel a well placed curse word adds emphasis to my point. To some, it may be possible I refrain from using curse words altogether but I am of the mindset that everyone will have their opinions and thoughts.
If you’re not into profanity and don’t use it, good for you! I just ask for respect from others and not look at me like I’m a classless moron because I happened to drop a few not so G-rated words.
I’m with you, Dianna.
I’m a big movie watcher, so I hear it all. Skilled cussers can ” turn it off, ” as they say. But the situation gets tricky if they can’t!!
All interesting comments. I guess it shows everyone has different tolerances and understandings . I’m not perfect and hopefully I don’t expect others to be. Respect is the key word that comes through. Crudeness is NEVER acceptable.
For years I worked as a superintendent (hard hat, radio, flannel shirt, work boots, and all) on construction sites. I’m not a curser, so if I did curse the whole place knew that something had really gone wrong and made me angry. That was very rare, thankfully. But because it was that rare it usually got the point across that I wasn’t happy with what had happened.
Often I would come around a corner and surprise a worker or two who’d just launched a line of swearing. They’d turn red and apologize profusely to me, usually the only female walking around the jobsite. On one site a worker had realized that his kids were picking up on his language so we made a deal. Every time I caught him cursing he had to give me a Hershey Bar. I ended up with a caseful by the end of the project, but he’d lessened his cursing.
It doesn’t bother me to the extent that I won’t watch a show or movie or read a book that has some in it if it has a reason for being there, but I really try not to use curse words in my life. I just don’t usually find a necessity for them.
I don’t curse on my blog either. And, while I am not against all forms of cussing on others’ blogs, I do think there is a way to do it and a way not to do it. I grew up in a similar home as the one you describe. My parents didn’t curse and didn’t allow a lot of words because they felt we (as children) could do better. Now that I’ve matured, I guess that whole philosophy shaped my outlook on language. It is, however, a personal outlook and one that I don’t seek to enforce upon others.
I agree! I may say something I shouldn’t from time to time, but I don’t write it down and my son doesn’t hear it very often! I think it shows somehting about your character…
Your list of appropriate/inappropriate words sounded exactly how I grew up. It is also pretty much how I am raising my own kids. When my oldest was in kindergarten she came home one day and announced that one of the boys had gotten in trouble for using the s word then added confidentially that she didn’t know if it was stupid or shut up!
This is by FAR the best post I have read today!!! Well done!
I agree with you totally. I don’t waste my time on vulgar or negative blogs.
I prefer to spend my online time visiting wholesome friendly positive blogs like yours. 🙂
As a woman in the youngerish generation, I don’t like it. It’s not about “getting with the times”. What comes out of the mouth is coming straight from the heart…
I agree with you…I’ve worked in places where my coworkers cursed freely, and it made me very uncomfortable. But then again, I take everything personally…LOL! Well done!
Dianna, I agree with you. People have a right to talk like they want, but I have a right not to listen, read, or agree. We have enough ugliness in this world, I do not need to add to it. Good blog!
Well said!
Good post! I don’t like swearing and I hate to hear youngsters doing it. But it’s everywhere, movies are full of it, if I am watching a film with a lot of heavy swearing I generally turn it off. My mum and dad were much the same as yours and it didn’t do us any harm.
I 100% agree with you. I was astonished the other day to hear young children swearing at the mall… and their parents or responsible adults were with them! They didn’t say a word. Growing up we weren’t even allowed to say “oh my gosh” and heaven forbid we ever say “crap”… we just didn’t go there! 🙂
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
When a female cusses, she loses her femininty; when a man cusses, he loses character.